


우리 사랑하지 말아요 (Let's Not Fall In Love)

by Vai_should_be_quiet



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, and I was like oh?, and everyone ONLY sees them as friends, because my friend told me that no one ships gtop, im gonna be honest this is sort of a petty fic, the extensice ao3 tag of gtop smut and romance stories begs to differ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 00:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13624503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vai_should_be_quiet/pseuds/Vai_should_be_quiet
Summary: Playing No Strings Attached is all fun and games until someone falls in love and gets hurt.





	우리 사랑하지 말아요 (Let's Not Fall In Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Angst 1 Fucking Finally here
> 
> Also wow what the fuck would you look at that who the hell wrote their first smut fic (more like an angst fic with smut in the end)????
> 
> Also also I hope V.I.P don’t come after me. I don’t know why, I don’t think I wrote anything bad just. Idk. I hope you guys like it.

When you aren’t with someone you can’t have an ‘anniversary’ date.

However, Jiyong remembered the day he had slept with Seunghyun for the first time. He could easily track down the date from there. He had done it many years ago, but it hadn’t been relevant up until now.

That date was the closest thing to an anniversary that they had got.

And it had been ten years.

Ten years of a non-exclusive relationship. It couldn’t exactly be called a relationship either, but Jiyong felt like it should be celebrated nonetheless.

He had taken matters into his own hands, knowing that he couldn’t rely on Seunghyun to help organize anything. Besides, it was supposed to be a surprise.

And Seunghyun was surprised. Jiyong loved the curiosity in Seunghyun’s voice when he’d called to tell him which hotel to come to and when.

Not that Jiyong expected him to be on time, but waiting around got boring after a while. He sat himself down to smoke a cigarette – he’d decided that they should keep clear of any intoxicating substances other than alcohol – so he resolved to cigarettes. Besides, he didn’t want to be high before Seunghyun arrived.

So he waited, playing with the laces of his pyjama pants. Despite him being topless, having only a silk robe draped over his shoulders, he wasn’t cold.

He tried not to check the time every five seconds, although it was hard to tell how much would Seunghyun keep him waiting. Jiyong’s intentions weren’t difficult to decipher, question was if he remembered the anniversary. Their celebrations were rather inconsistent, skipping a few years at a time for various reasons. But ten years... He had to remember.

There was a knock.

Jiyong cursed himself for how quickly he stood up. He made sure to correct that mistake by lazily walking over to the door. When he opened it he leaned in the doorway, tilting his head.

“You’re late.”

“I know,” Seunghyun replied, leaning in.

But Jiyong stopped him, placing his palm on the other’s chest.

“You’re not even gonna offer an excuse?”

Seunghyun rolled his eyes. “You won’t forgive me fifteen minutes?”

“Eighteen,” Jiyong corrected.

“I’m sorry,” Seunghyun said in a sarcastic tone, giving a barely noticeable bow.

Jiyong shook his head and climbed on his tiptoes to peck Senghyun’s cheek. “Come in,” he said and walked in, not turning around to check if Seunghyun was following.

Jiyong knew he was.

He sat himself back in the armchair, looking at Seunghyun as he took off his coat.

“So, what’s the occasion?” Seunghyun raised his eyebrows, checking out Jiyong and his outfit.

“You better be joking,” Jiyong said icily.

Seunghyun raised his arms, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Fine, I’m kidding, geez. I just thought we weren’t making a big deal out of it,” he said and once he hung up his coat made his way to where Jiyong was sitting. Seunghyun sat on the armrest, reaching over to play with Jiyong’s hair.

He leaned into the touch and looked up. “Normally I wouldn’t, but come on, we’ve been together for ten years. That ought to mean something.”

“You mean we’ve been fucking for ten years,” Seunghyun corrected with a devilish smile.

Jiyong hit him lightly. “Same difference. Still deserves a celebration.”

Seunghyun paused, pulling his hand away, instead reaching into his pocket. “You know what, you’re right. I actually got you something.”

Jiyong perked up, raising his eyebrows. “You did?”

Seunghyun wordlessly showed him the modest looking box. But when he opened it, Jiyong’s eyes widened.

“Is – is this a fucking—?”

Seunghyun chuckled. “Yeah Jiyong, it’s a fucking diamond.”

Inside the box was a lacy choker with a diamond pendant. A small, subtle one, but enough to melt Jiyong’s heart.

He carefully took out the necklace and skipped over to the nearest mirror. Seunghyun followed with a self satisfied smile, appearing behind Jiyong. He helped him put the necklace on and they both marvelled at how good it looked on him.

Seunghyun pressed a kiss to Jiyong’s neck. “You look beautiful,” he whispered in admiration.

The younger smiled and turned around, wrapping his arms around Seunghyun’s neck. The kiss they shared was brief. Seunghyun pulled away soon with a smirk.

“So, where’s my gift?” He said in a sweet tone.

Jiyong huffed and backed away. He stepped back towards the bed, opening his arms as if to present himself.

“Oh, I see,” Seunghyun hummed, his smile only growing. He took a few steps forward while unbuttoning his shirt.

Jiyong took him by the collar and pulled him into a kiss, both of them falling back on the bed. They laughed together, breaking the kiss briefly.

As their laughter faded, they looked into each other’s eyes. Jiyong may have looked at Seunghyun the wrong – or the right – way because in a matter of seconds Seunghyun was on top of him, pinning him down by his wrists.

* * *

Not many people could pride themselves with curing a hangover in their manager's office. It was quite the stunt and it sure sounded nice, but in actuality it was the worst.

Seunghyun and Jiyong  both maintained their nonchalant posture, arms crossed and staring lazily and disinterestedly at the computer screen that was turned towards them.

At first the two thought they'd be scolded about ordinary things they were used to. They didn't take the invitation to the manager's office very seriously as it wasn't a rare occurrence for them.

However, the pictures on the screen turned the situation around.

Or at least for Seunghyun they did. He leaned in with wide eyes, although his disbelief quickly turned into rage. Jiyong saw him clench and unclench his fists slowly.

“What is this?” He asked, never lifting his gaze from the screen.

“I should be asking you that,” the manager snapped.

Jiyong pushed himself off the wall that he was leaning against and dragged himself over. He gave a half-hearted glance at the pictures of him and Seunghyun in front of the hotel. One of them holding hands, the other showed them flipping off someone in the distance and the last one showed them full-on making out.

He looked up with a blank expression. “I don't see what's the big deal.”

“It _is_ a big deal!” Seunghyun was the one to complain, not even sparing Jiyong a glance. “If this leaks everyone will get the wrong idea!”

Jiyong frowned, a bit confused by the outrage. “What _wrong idea_? There's really no way to misinterpret this. Besides, if this leaks the only thing that can happen is for us to get a shit ton of publicity.”

“Yes, but this isn't the way to do it,” their manager cut in, giving Jiyong scolding looks. “It would earn you publicity internationally, but not here! We can't risk it, you can't put yourself on so many radars like that!” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms while judgmentally looking at Jiyong's eye roll. “You're being awfully nonchalant about this.”

“Yah, maybe cause it literally doesn't matter!” Jiyong snapped.

“Stop being a pretentious prick, won't you?” Seunghyun said, attempting to stare Jiyong down. “It _does_ matter! Not everyone's progressive like _you_.” He huffed. “I hate to be the one to say this, but...” Seunghyun turned towards the manager and bowed in apology. “It was irresponsible of us. We're usually more careful, but we weren't in our right minds. We're sorry.”

Jiyong wasn't shut up by Seunghyun’s outlash. He was silent because he was stunned. Seunghyun apologizing. Jiyong expected to be supported, he sort of thought they'd flip off the manager together and go make out.

He was way off.

Seunghyun’s newfound politeness seemed to calm the situation a bit, while Jiyong's rage grew in contrast.

Their manager shook his head and sighed. He turned the screen back around and closed the window. “Of course, you're right... We'll cover this up somehow, but I need to know one thing and I need to know the truth.”

Seunghyun nodded.

“What is going on between the two of you?”

There was a moment of silence. Jiyong's gaze was heavy and sharp, so much so that it made Seunghyun uncomfortable, even though he wasn't looking. In fact, he hadn't looked at Jiyong ever since they saw the pictures, which made the shorter one all the more angry.

He waited to see what Seunghyun would say.

“Nothing,” he said. “We were just drunk.”

Jiyong blacked out. He stepped forward and grabbed Seunghyun by his neatly ironed collar, forcing him to turn around. It was a bit difficult, but what he lacked in height and strength, he made up with pure fury.

As Seunghyun finally looked at Jiyong, his blank expression only showed traces of confusion. And, much to Jiyong's satisfaction, a hint of fear of what was about to come. But Seunghyun’s overall indifference made Jiyong's blood boil.

“ _Nothing!?_ ” He yelled.

Seunghyun hardly winced.

“Nothing?” Jiyong repeated in a calmer, shaky tone.

The other shrugged his shoulder, a barely visible movement.

Jiyong let go of him and stepped towards the desk.

“He's lying, sir.” He gripped the edges of the table and leaned in. “We've been fucking for ten years, that's what's going on between us.” He leaned back and threw Seunghyun a poisonous look. “But I believe there won't be any more incidents. It's over anyway. Talk your way out of that one, dick,” he said to Seunghyun.

Without waiting to be excused, Jiyong stormed out and slammed the door.

Damn it all. The tears in his eyes only enraged him more. Stupid Seunghyun. Stupid relationship. Stupid feelings.

He didn't even turn a corner when he heard his name being called. He ignored it. But soon enough a hand was on his shoulder, turning him around with ease.

“Did you just break up with me?” Seunghyun asked in disbelief.

Jiyong didn't answer. He just stared ahead, not up instead he looked down at the chain that was around Seunghyun's neck.

“Wait—fuck! What am I saying? We didn't break up, we were never together!”

Jiyong blacked out again. He no longer thought about consequences – not that he thought at all. He slapped Seunghyun with the strength neither of them knew he had.

Seunghyun needed a moment to collect himself. He looked back at Jiyong and opened his arms in a confused gesture.

“What the fuck? Why, why do you always need to make a scene?! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Don’t talk to me like that,” Jiyong hissed and shoved the other away. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong is that you’re a giant asshole, that’s what’s wrong. You’re clueless and oblivious! Honestly, you’d think that a person would catch a hint after ten years!”

“I don’t—what the fuck are you talking about? Why is this getting to you so much?”

Jiyong didn’t answer. He stared at the ground. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling and it made him feel disgustingly weak.

“No...” Seunghyun ran a hand through his hair in distress. “Jiyongie... No, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Come on, no strings attached, remember? This is exactly why we’d set that rule!” He let out a series of curses, bilingually.

“Oh, get over yourself! That's something we said so we wouldn't get hurt! To protect ourselves from the public, from the industry we're in, from... From each other.”

There was a pause. “You're stupid if you thought I wouldn't fall for you,” Jiyong said quietly. The shakiness in his own voice almost made him sick. To recover he looked up and shot Seunghyun the deadliest of glares. “But at least now I know what you really think of me.”

Seunghyun reached out, but Jiyong stepped back.

“C'mon don't say that,” Seunghyun tried.

Jiyong shook his head. He kept a distance, arms crossed and fists clenched. “Listen to me, Seunghyun. I'm not your toy. I'm not someone you go to when you're horny and everyone else is busy. Hell, if I had known what you thought of me I never would have let you touch me!”

Seunghyun shook his head and once again tried to step forward, only for Jiyong to back away further.

“It was never like that...”

“Bullshit.” Jiyong shook his head and turned around.

As he started to walk away, Seunghyun called after him to which he replied, “If you try to follow me I'll dismember you!”

This threat was the one that made Seunghyun freeze and stay in his spot. He only stared after Jiyong, doing his best not to look at his ass as he walked away.

* * *

Taeyang was leaning on the counter, looking pitifully at his hyung who was sat at the table, forehead on the wooden surface. He was pretty much hugging the bottle of soju and constantly muttering incoherently about Jiyong.

Taeyang sighed and walked over, then sat opposite of Seunghyun. He reached over and pried the bottle out of the other's grasp.

“You've had enough,” he said and ruffled Seunghyun’s already messy hair.

The other just whimpered.

Taeyang took a sip directly from the bottle. “Do you remember when this all first started and I said to the two of you, “Hyungs, don't let this come between you. Don't get in a fight and screw everything up for the rest of us”? Do you remember what you said to that? You said, “Shut the fuck up Taeyang,” in unison. Well, I have to say, I told you so.”

“Shut the fuck up Taeyang,” Seunghyun grumbled and looked up, although he was still attached to the table.

“You fucked up,” Taeyang pointed out yet again. “The question is, how are you going to unfuck it?”

Seunghyun frowned and sat up. “I didn't do anything. Not my fault Jiyong actually fell for me.”

Taeyang huffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you're right, you didn't do anything. You only told him that you’ve never loved him, implying that you only ever cared about sex. You broke his heart, hyung. It _is_ your fault for being the most oblivious motherfucker that has walked the Earth.”

Seunghyun let his head fall back on the table with a soft ‘thump.’ “I didn't mean it like that. I just thought… I mean we agreed…” He groaned. “People set rules with a reason, right? He's the one who—”

“How about,” Taeyang cut in, “You stop making excuses and realize that you acted like a jerk. There aren't many people in the world who can make Kwon Jiyong cry, you know.”

Seunghyun sighed. “I acted like a jerk…” He said defeatedly.

“Now.” Taeyang rested his chin in his palm and slightly leaned in. “You have to figure something out. You don't have to tell me, but you have to be honest with yourself. Do you love him?”

Seunghyun played around with the now empty glass. He tried to think about it. On the surface, their entire relationship had been non-exclusive. He had viewed it that way so that he could have the freedom to be with other people. In that sense… He really did use to treat Jiyong like a thing. And that realization made Seunghyun hit his forehead against the table. Especially because, well, after everyone else left, the one person he always kept coming back to was Jiyong.

“I'm such an idiot,” Seunghyun muttered.

“You really are,” Taeyang confirmed. He glanced at his phone. “I could leave you to think about your feelings and your mistakes, but you need to sleep.”

“But I have to figure out how to get him back,” Seunghyun complained.

Taeyang shook his head as he stood up. “Tomorrow. You need to sleep on this. Pro tip: start with apologizing and don't expect him to forgive you right away. I wouldn't.”

Seunghyun knew what he had to do, but he wasn't looking forward to it. With how much he'd messed up and Jiyong's stubbornness on top of that, it seemed like an impossible deed.

The morning after, Seunghyun decided to grow a pair and forget his hangover for the time being, as there were more important things to worry about.

He took some medicine and drove his ass to Jiyong's place.

However, it was empty. He only had a vague idea of where Jiyong could be. First he phoned Seungri, who was as clueless as him. Then he called Daesung, praying that he knew something as he was Seunghyun's last resort.

_“Hello?”_

“Daesung! You have to help me. Is Jiyong at your place?”

There was a pause. _“Jiyong's not in Korea.”_

“What!?”

_“He's in Tokyo. Got on a plane last night.”_

“What the fuck is he doing in Tokyo?”

_”Getting over you? Listen, I've been texting him since last night to make sure he was at least alive. If he drinks himself to death or worse, I'll personally strangle you, hyung or not.”_

Seunghyun didn't make much of the threats since he didn't believe that Jiyong would actually do something like that. “Yeah, big guy. Where's he staying?”

_“I haven't asked.”_

“Hold on.” Seunghyun made a quick search to find the nearest flight he can get on. “Alright big guy, you've got six hours to find it out for me.”

_“Wait, what are you even doing?”_

“Going to Tokyo.”

* * *

Seunghyun had barely made it to Tokyo. His biggest foe was his rising anxiety.

Taeyang almost went crazy while trying to calm him down, they were constantly on the phone except when Seunghyun was on the plane. However Taeyang stayed a good friend.

With Daesung’s help, Seunghyun found Jiyong's hotel and his room. He had been told that he was inside, and Seunghyun was currently at the door.

He felt like he was about to die.

Some minutes ago Taeyang had sent him a message that read, “You've got this,” but Seunghyun doubted he did.

However, it had to be done. And putting it off would do no one no good.

Wise words from someone who was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

He knocked.

He waited a little before the door was opened. Seunghyun only managed to catch a glimpse of Jiyong – his cold gaze and the hair that fell in his eyes, the crop top he was wearing falling off his shoulder and the shorts that exposed the tattoos on his thighs – before the door got slammed in his face.

“Come on!” Seunghyun was tempted to kick the door, but he knocked persistently instead.

A series of curses in three different languages could be heard from behind the door.

That was basically Seunghyun being told to fuck off in Japanese, Korean and English, and quite creatively so.

Seunghyun was stunned, but only for a second. That time he did kick the door. “Quit acting like a brat and open the god damn door! I have to tell you something!”

The door opened, but only for Jiyong to look out. He didn't let Seunghyun in.

“And you quit acting like an animal. This is a fucking hotel,” he spoke more quietly. “I don't care what you have to say.”

As Jiyong tried to close the door again, Seunghyun forced it open with his shoulder.

“Fucker—” Jiyong hissed but it was too late. Seunghyun was now inside.

“ _Listen to me._ Give me… five minutes and I'll leave you alone.”

Jiyong crossed his arms. “Four minutes. I don't like odd numbers,” he mumbled stubbornly.

Seunghyun rolled his eyes. The endless stubbornness and arrogance of his dongsaeng almost made him give up from what he was going to do.

But he couldn't give up. There were so many reasons not to.

“Fine. Four minutes.”

“Starting now,” Jiyong announced. He leaned against the wall and kept his eyes on his wrist watch.

Seunghyun kneeled before him. That made the other look at him.

“What are you—?”

“My four minutes. You shut it.” Seunghyun took a deep breath. “I'm not proposing, obviously. But I am apologizing. I'm so fucking sorry. All those things I said – I was being selfish, I was only trying to protect myself. That being said I treated you horribly. I thought I could have you whenever I wanted, but discarded your feelings. That was disgusting of me. I am so, so, so sorry.” He bowed all the way to the ground. Jiyong still didn’t react, even though his eyes were wide as he stared down at his hyung.

Seunghyun didn’t take it as a good sign. He sighed and straightened up. “Listen, you have every right to hate me. You don't even have to forgive me. Just… For the sake of the group, tolerate me, please.”

Jiyong coughed and glanced at his watch. “Time’s up. I gave you an extra minute,” he added, sounding displeased.

Seunghyun bowed his head, feeling utterly defeated. His only goal here was to smooth things out so the group wouldn’t suffer, but he didn’t even manage that. Or so he thought.

“I’ll tolerate you. That’s the only thing I can promise.”

Seunghyun sighed a breath of relief. He still had one last card to play to assure that he’d done everything he could to make things right. Granted, he didn’t expect it to work, but he had to make sure. Maybe, in time…

“I love you.”

Jiyong froze. “What?”

“You heard me,” Seunghyun said firmly.

Jiyong rolled his eyes. “Of course you’d say anything to get yourself out of this. Fuck you.” As he attempted to step around the other, Seunghyun took his hand.

“I mean it. I don’t say that to anyone and I don’t say it lightly. Jiyong,” Seunghyun only spoke again when he was sure that he had the other’s attention. “I love you.”

Seunghyun was ready to give up. If that hadn’t worked then nothing would. He sighed and started lifting himself off the ground.

But Jiyong didn’t let him. He placed his hand on Seunghyun’s shoulder and pushed him back to his knees. “Stay there,” he said, tilting his head. His eyes were cold.

Seunghyun didn’t like where this was going. He swallowed, doubt seeping into his gaze.

Jiyong could sense it and it brought a smile to his face. A smile that seemed gentle, but held malice. He brought his hand up from Seunghyun’s shoulder to his face and lightly traced his lips.

“You love me?”

Seunghyun gritted his teeth. He felt like he was being humiliated and he had a horrible feeling that Jiyong had no intention of stopping there.

“I do,” he said quietly.

“You haven’t been acting like it. You never have.”

“I know, I’ve been horrible to you, I’ve—”

Jiyong cut him off by clasping his hand over Seunghyun’s mouth, which left him mildly shocked. Jiyong squeezed his face and pulled him close, looking down on him with distaste.

“You’ve had your four minutes. Now you shut that pretty mouth and do as I say.” He moved his hand in favour of threading his fingers through Seunghyun’s hair. “You’ve tried to treat me like your bitch. I let you because I thought there was something else between us. You claim that you love me. How about you show me?”

Seunghyun opened his mouth to respond, but he was silenced yet again when Jiyong pulled on his hair.

“Shut it. _Show me_ , hyung. No more talking. Show me that you can swallow your pride and let me be on top for once.”

Any words Seunghyun might have had in mind turned to ash in his mouth. In that moment it became clear that the first part, the apology, had been nothing compared to what was about to come.

Jiyong seemed to approve of his silence. He pulled Seunghyun close by his hair, until he was only millimeters away from the fabric of Jiyong’s shorts.

Seunghyun wasn’t sure if he could do this. He looked up at the younger almost pleadingly bur received no sympathy in return.

It was evident that he didn’t have a choice if he wanted to make things right. Then again… Maybe he wouldn’t be opposed to it. It was Jiyong after all. He had kissed his thighs so many times before, so what if he had to go a bit higher?

He licked his lips. His hair being played with felt like he was being urged to hurry up. He caved and gave Jiyong’s clothed member an open-mouthed kiss. He bit down once or twice, which drew a surprised squeal from Jiyong. Seunghyun smirked and took the fabric between his teeth. Then he pulled it down, only to discover that Jiyong was wearing what had become Seunghyun’s favourite pair of panties over time.

He looked up with raised eyebrows to which Jiyong replied with a distasteful frown and pushing Seunghyun’s head back down.

The older huffed and proceeded to remove the dark red underwear the same way, his hands not being used for the action and instead resting on Jiyong’s hips.

It felt odd. He had never seen Jiyong from this angle. In fact Seunghyun had never done this to anyone, having always been the receiver.

That being said, he’d seen it being done so many times before that he was fairly sure he’d know what to do. Seunghyun first licked along the whole length, looking up with malice. He only took in the head, lazily licking around it. Seunghyun liked to believe it was payback for every time Jiyong had tormented him with merciless teasing, but the truth was that he was only putting off the moment when he would have to take it all in.

The teasing left Jiyong grunting impatiently. He was growing harder right there, between Seunghyun’s lips.

In another situation Jiyong might have gone with it, let him have his fun. But now, he had no patience, none at all. As his hand was still in Seunghyun’s hair he only tightened his grip on it and pushed him down, making the other gag.

Seunghyun whined in protest, he wasn’t used to this. He wanted to pull away, but was still being held down. He had no other choice but to try and relax his throat, breathing through the nose. Jiyong soon loosened his grip, allowing Seunghyun to move his head. And as he did so, his hands dropped to Jiyong’s thighs, fingers lightly brushing over the letters on his skin.

As much as Jiyong wanted to appear tough, this was pretty new for him too. Not that he’d never received head, but he wasn’t as durable. After only a little while he was reduced to a moaning mess, trying to make Seunghyun go faster by gripping his hair.

And it was annoying, so annoying that it was making Seunghyun hard just listening to Jiyong sounding out his pleasure. Although it may not have been just that… it felt oddly good, having his lips wrapped around Jiyong’s cock and taking his entire length. It hurt his throat and jaw, but damn did it feel good.

Jiyong soon lost it and snapped his hips forward, as he could no longer just stay still. Seunghyun was taken by surprise and he gagged yet again, but didn’t back down. He looked up, tightening his grip on Jiyong’s hips.

The younger had brought his hand up to bite on his fist, his eyes shut. “I’m close,” he whimpered, voice muffled by his hand.

Seunghyun’s first instinct was to pull away, but just like before he was only pushed back down. And realization hit him. He didn’t want to do it, it was much too embarrassing for him. Seunghyun never did this, not under any circumstances. Well… Unless he had messed up a relationship so badly that this was the only way he could make up for it.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Jiyong came with one final thrust and he dropped his hand, crying out loudly. Then he groaned, letting his head fall back.

And so Seunghyun had to swallow. He was finally allowed to pull away, although utterly humiliated. He wiped his chin, keeping his gaze away.

But, of course, he wasn’t allowed a rest as Jiyong forced him to look up.

“I admire you,” Seunghyun uttered, his voice a bit hoarse. “I did this once and almost died. You’ve been doing this for years.”

“It is admirable,” Jiyong agreed. “Now get up, I’m not done with you.”

Seunghyun didn’t expect himself to be shaking so much. The only consolation was that Jiyong seemed to be shaking just as much.

But somehow he was able to push Seunghyun towards the bed and pin him down. The older tried to throw him off, but ended up just squirming helplessly as Jiyong was not only holding him by his wrists, but also straddling his hips. And Seunghyun was no match for the strength of Jiyong’s thighs.

“What’re you gonna do with me?” Seunghyun asked stupidly, as if he couldn’t figure it out himself.

Jiyong huffed and started lazily rolling his hips against Seunghyun’s. The pitiful look he was giving the other was quickly replaced with a smirk.

“I can’t believe you got this hard by just blowing me,” Jiyong said, suddenly amused.

Seunghyun frowned. “That’s not—” He winced because Jiyong wasn’t giving him a rest and he really was hard. He groaned and shut his eyes. “Fuck—You’re not the one to talk! You came so quickly,” he said in an attempt to get back at Jiyong.

Needless to say, he wasn’t fond of the call-out. He pushed Seunghyun’s legs apart and ground on him harder.

The good news was that his hands were now free. The bad news was that he really needed to get off or be inside Jiyong – which wasn’t an option in this scenario.

“C’mon Jiyongie,” he whined. “Just—”

“What?” The other inclined, now unbuttoning Seunghyun’s shirt. Jiyong leaned in enough for their lips to brush but not touch. Just as he was lulling Seunghyun into safety with soft kisses to his neck and jaw, the treacherous fuck lifted his knee between Seunghyun’s legs, making him cry out.

“You little shit!”

“You still haven’t told me what you want, hyung,” Jiyong hummed. “I think you’re trying to say something, but I can’t figure it out…”

Not that Seunghyun was trying to ‘say’ anything; he was simply rutting his hips against Jiyong’s knee as he was in desperate need of friction, any at all. And the younger wasn’t there to provide.

Of course, he couldn’t get rid of his own old habits so easily. Jiyong found himself grinding down on Seunghyun’s hip almost as desperately as the older.

“I want—” Seunghyun cut himself off. In his current position, he couldn’t say what was actually on his mind. He wanted to flip Jiyong over and fuck him mercilessly, but that wasn’t happening any time soon.

In fact, if  he wanted to make things right, he would likely have to…

Seunghyun shook his head. “You’re horrible.”

“Say it,” Jiyong demanded.

“I want you to fuck me,” Seunghyun hissed through his teeth, keeping his eyes closed.

Jiyong grabbed his face yet again and forced him to look up. “I didn’t quite catch that.” As he said it, Jiyong pushed his knee further up, making the older squirm.

“Shit! Just, fuck it all, fuck me already! Please?”

 “I thought you’d never ask,” Jiyong said and crawled off of Seunghyun.

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed with the lack of friction. However he didn’t expect to be turned over so easily – it was only possible because he hadn’t expected it, Seunghyun told himself. That had to be it.

He decided that if he had to do this, he wouldn’t be cooperative. However Jiyong showed that he didn’t need help undressing Seunghyun. It made him pissed to say the least.

What pissed him off even more was that Jiyong had the audacity to just – leave. Seriously? When he finally had Seunghyun where he’d wanted him and he just leaves?

Seunghyun turned around and found him fumbling with something on the table by the mirror.

“Oi!” Seunghyun hurled a pillow Jiyong’s way, but he dodged. “What kind of an asshole gets someone riled up like that and then leaves?”

Jiyong just smiled. He walked back to the bed and Seunghyun noticed one significant change in his appearance – Jiyong was now wearing the choker with the diamond pendant, his anniversary gift.

“You’re right, it was rude of me to leave. I guess then we won’t be needing this?” He lifted up the small bottle he had apparently taken. “You want your first time without lube? Brave move.”

Seunghyun bit his lip. “N-no, that’s not what I meant—”

Jiyong chuckled. “What’re you getting all worked up about? It won’t hurt one bit~”

Seunghyun couldn’t exactly remember, but he was pretty sure he had said something along the lines to Jiyong when they were having sex for the first time. He was suddenly regretting being a dickhead back then. He definitely couldn’t count on Jiyong to go easy on him.

He was broken out of his thoughts when he felt Jiyong’s fingers inside of him. It made him gasp and Seunghyun bit on his fist to prevent himself from making any more sounds. Little bastard didn’t even give him a warning, and being as inexperienced as Seunghyun was, two felt like too much.

Of course, Jiyong couldn’t care less. He didn’t care about prepping Seunghyun well enough, however he did like how the other squirmed under him, almost as if trying to get away. It only resulted in Jiyong tightening his grip on Seunghyun’s hips to keep him in place.

Jiyong held him down firmly as he added another finger, once again with no warning. Seunghyun’s whimpers were muffled by his fist, but not significantly. Jiyong loved it, it made him feel powerful.

After the initial shock passed, Seunghyun caught himself grinding back against Jiyong’s hand and he cursed himself for it.

“You like this don’t you?”

Seunghyun immediately stopped his needy movements. “No, I don’t,” he said, his voice strained.

To this denial Jiyong replied with pulling out almost completely, then pushing in with force.

Seunghyun was not only angry, but also disappointed in himself that it made him cry out.

“Baby that’s not even the real thing,” the younger hummed. He was having way too much fun with this and Seunghyun didn’t like it.

“I know how it works, thank you,” he hissed. Of course he knew since usually he was the one who did the fucking. “Will you get on with it though?”

Jiyong made a growling sound, similar to that from the end of Bullshit. And on with it he got. Once again Seunghyun wasn’t graced with a warning or an adjustment period. It wasn’t fair because he always handled Jiyong with such care, and this was the thanks he got?

Well, maybe not always.

They liked it rough from time to time.

Or all the time.

The point was that, for once, Seunghyun was the one being fucked into the mattress. And it took so much effort to keep his whimpers and cries in, or to at least keep them as quiet as possible.

But Jiyong wasn’t having it. He was set on humiliating Seunghyun for being a selfish and arrogant prick. The younger reached up and pulled on his hair, which oddly enough made Seunghyun moan.

“That’s better,” Jiyong hummed, tugging once more for good measure.

And Seunghyun was gone. No force on this world could hold in his whines any longer. What hurt the most was that he liked it, the pain that quickly cleared away and left only pleasure, his hair being pulled, being held down and almost completely immobile; he loved it. Not that he’d ever say it out loud.

And then he betrayed himself when he cried out Jiyong’s name. It made the younger laugh and Seunghyun groan in defeat. He dropped his head and buried his face into the sheets. He felt the bed shake with every thrust and it made him think back to how pissed Jiyong had been when Seunghyun was yelling in the hallway. He huffed. So some arguing would disturb the other hotel guests, but loud sex wouldn’t? Logic.

Seunghyun wasn’t left to think too much. With his experience, Jiyong could let his thoughts wander off while bottoming. But Seunghyun didn’t have that kind of experience. His mind was turned into nothingness as Jiyong hit is prostate. His eyes rolled back and lips parted while he whined incoherently. The only word that could be made out through the lewd moans was “more.”

Something was odd though. Jiyong’s energy. Seunghyun was almost sure that Jiyong was on something because there was no way he would ever have been able to hold Seunghyun down so tightly, in a way that would surely leave bruises all over his waist, hips and thighs. Furthermore, he never would have been able to fuck Seunghyun so hard… right?

But he was soon convinced of it. How? Jiyong didn’t take too long to come – understandable, considering how weak he proved to be when receiving the blowjob earlier, Seunghyun thought with a smirk – but the older was naive enough to think he would get a break. It did suck that he was still left untouched and desperately needed to get off.

As Seunghyun tried to scramble away, relieved that it was over, Jiyong squeezed his thigh, then wrapped his arms around Seunghyun’s waist to roughly pull him back.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Seunghyun felt his stomach drop. He glanced at Jiyong over his shoulder. “You’re done, aren’t you?”

Jiyong grinned.

Seunghyun gulped.

“A-at least let me turn around.”

The younger huffed. “Why should I? I need your ass, not your face.”

Seunghyun whined and tried to throw Jiyong off, but the younger only held him down tighter. “Don’t be a dick! You’re gonna be fucking me anyway!”

Jiyong seemed to consider it for a while, rubbing circles and tracing patterns into the inside of the other’s thighs. It made Seunghyun shiver, before he felt the other move away slightly, freeing him to move.

Seunghyun smiled and quickly turned over, then immediately tried to reach for Jiyong. He wanted to kiss him, Seunghyun never thought he’d need it so much in his life.

But Jiyong was punishing him at the moment. Why would he allow the kiss when Seunghyun so obviously craved it.

“You can’t have everything, baby,” he said as he firmly held Seunghyun down by his shoulder. He smiled and began kissing down Seunghyun’s neck, while pushing his legs apart again.

This time Jiyong at least gave Seunghyun a whisper of, “Ready?” before thrusting into him.

Seunghyun was not used to this feeling yet and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be. However this time he didn’t try to squirm away. He moaned out and gripped at the sheets, throwing his head back.

And that was why Seunghyun was convinced that Jiyong was on something. Because with just a small break he was able to get right back into the pace he’d had when they left off – just as strong, just as fast. It wasn’t possible for someone who was topping for the first time. And as someone who was bottoming for the first time, Seunghyun wasn’t sure he would survive it.

With how desperate he was and had been for a while, it didn’t take long for his mind to go back into the state of nothingness, overwhelmed with pleasure. His vocabulary consisted of Jiyong’s name, simple words of praise, bilingual curses and anything along the lines of “feels good” and “more.”

Something slipped past Seunghyun’s lips, something he’d never thought he’d say.

“ _Please_.”

Jiyong smirked. He was in the process of giving the other a hickey when he heard the word and he stopped to marvel at his own achievement.

“Please what?”

“Please, I-I need to—” Seunghyun couldn’t even think about his own embarrassment at the moment. He needed to come so badly that he would have said anything to get it. “I need to come please, please fuck me harder!”

One would think that this was what Jiyong had wanted to hear and he would finally give his hyung a break. Nope. Little shit smirked at his success and, in between pressing kisses to Seunghyun’s neck, said, “Scream for me.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. In fact, all he had to do was let go. Seunghyun had wanted to scream even before but made an active effort to keep it in. Now, as all of his shame was gone, he let go.

As amusing as it was, it was louder than Jiyong had expected. He chuckled and clasped his hand over Seunghyun’s mouth. “Keep it down a bit babe.”

But Seunghyun gave zero fucks, he kept screaming and moaning into Jiyong’s hand until he came. It was shocking to him that he could ever be made to feel so good in such a way. And Jiyong didn’t need much more time either. He gripped the bedpost for balance and came inside of Seunghyun for the second time that night.

Seunghyun hated himself for loving it, but he could no longer deny it. He let himself relax with his eyes closed. His peace was disturbed when he heard Jiyong laughing and felt him pull out.

“What?” Seunghyun grumbled, opening one eye to look at the other.

“You’re so pathetic. Seriously, you came untouched. When does that ever happen? You! Untouched!” He was hardly speaking from laughter. Jiyong doubled over in his fit, resting his head on Seunghyun’s shoulder.

“I heard you the first fucking time!” Even though he didn’t appreciate the teasing, Seunghyun grabbed the chance to wrap his arms around Jiyong. He didn’t stop laughing, but he didn’t complain either.

He wiped his eyes and looked up at his hyung, a shit eating grin on his lips. “We should do this more often. It’s really fun.”

“No, let’s never do this again,” Seunghyun said with a hilariously scared expression.

Jiyong lightly hit his arm. “Come on, I know you loved it! I heard those moans, Seunghyunie.”

The older flicked Jiyong’s forehead and received a light punch in return. “I didn’t love it _that_ much.”

But Jiyong was just smirking at him. The judgmental, knowing stare made Seunghyun look away. “Fine. I liked it. But only because it’s you. And I definitely prefer being on top.”

Jiyong’s gaze softened and he pressed a few loving kisses to Seunghyun’s neck, then nuzzled into him.

“So what about you?” He asked, playing with Jiyong’s hair.

“What about me?”

“Which do you prefer?”

The grin was back on Jiyong’s face as he propped himself up, tracing Seunghyun’s lips gently. “I don’t know yet. I might have to fuck you again, then I’ll decide.”

Seunghyun whined and pushed Jiyong’s hand away. “Don’t be a prick.”

“I promise I won’t be so mean this time. Besides, you only came once. Don’t you want more?”

It was a tempting offer, but Seunghyun hesitated. Would he be able to handle it? More importantly, would he be able to let his pride be crushed like that… again?

“I’ll blow you.”

Seunghyun grinned. “It’s a deal.”

* * *

Some time after midnight, both of them were pretty tired out. Even though Jiyong still had some of his unspent energy left, Seunghyun was pretty exhausted. He had gotten tipsy along the way, but it only made him more tired. So they just cuddled for the time being, Jiyong curled up and Seunghyun held him securely.

“Am I forgiven yet?” He knew it was a risky thing to ask, but the question had been nagging at Seunghyun almost the entire time. He needed to make things serious for a second, he needed to know what Jiyong  really felt. Now that he knew the group wouldn’t be hurt by his actions, he wanted to know where this relationship was.

The younger understood the seriousness of his tone and shifted, pulling away slightly to look up. However Jiyong found it difficult to keep eye contact and he averted his gaze quickly.

“I don’t know. Should I forgive you? Do you deserve it?”

“I suppose I don’t,” Seunghyun admitted. “I don’t deserve you at all.”

Jiyong sighed and nuzzled back into Seunghyun, tucking his head under the other’s chin. “Well, there’s just one problem with that. I love you. I’m not willing to break it off just to punish you. I’m selfish enough to forgive you, if it means I get to keep you.”

“Thank you,” Seunghyun said, finally releasing the breath he’d been holding in anticipation. “I’ll try, G. Because I do love you and now that I’ve finally realized that, I’ll try to show it too.”

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever hurt me like that again.”

Seunghyun was left speechless for a moment. It was quite obviously a threat, one Jiyong had said gently, whispering against Seunghyun’s skin. It made it that much worse.

“I won’t, I promise.” But the promise meant nothing at this point and he knew that. Because they both knew Seunghyun wouldn’t slip up again. If he did, it would be over.

A moment of silence passed. They held each other tightly, in an embrace that showed how scared they were of losing each other.

Then Seunghyun shifted, reaching up to cup Jiyong’s cheek. “Can I…?”

He answered by pressing his lips to Seunghyun’s for the first time that night. But Jiyong realized that he needed it just as much as Seunghyun did, maybe even more. He found reassurance in the kiss and he hoped that from now on things would be different.

As for Seunghyun… He had figured it out even before, although still far too late, but now it was sealed. And realization hit him, realization that he had done the one thing he never thought he’d do – he had fallen in love.


End file.
